


Porg Punt Premiere

by Dangerously_Demonic



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Star Trek, Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Crack Crossover, Crack Treated Seriously, No porgs were harmed in the writing of this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2019-07-14 18:43:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16046339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dangerously_Demonic/pseuds/Dangerously_Demonic
Summary: Loki punts a porg and wears a tutu. That's all.





	Porg Punt Premiere

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FeralCreed](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeralCreed/gifts).



> "Write what you want. Even if it's Loki running around in a green tutu punting porgs while screaming "Yeet!" with a klingon."
> 
> This was my sarcastic comment towards someone who felt fanfic writers should /only/ write perfectly canon characters with no fandom interpretations. FeralCreed began making hyena noises at the idea, so I wrote it.

Loki smoothed the frills of his tutu, ensuring he looked presentable in front of the crowd of gathered Klingons. While a warlike species, he doubted they cared much about his appearance, but his ego simply wouldn’t allow him to look poorly. Satisfied with his preenings, he stepped onto the green grass and observed the course in front of him.

The punting area sat level, but quickly dropped away into a water hazard, meaning he needed to kick the porg hard enough to get it over the water and into the net on the other side. Loki felt confident he could. Around him, the Klingons gathered and muttered in their harsh, guttural language as they waited for the event to begin.

After a few minutes had passed, the attendant sat a small, squat, and vaguely furred creature onto the center of the punting area. It looked around with wide eyes that likely looked ‘cute’ to other species, but Loki noted the eyes were devoid of any sort of intelligence. The creature made a quiet noise and then defecated, much to Loki’s disgust. A moment later, the attendant stepped back and gave Loki a grunted nod.

He stepped forward onto the punting green and felt pleased at how the sunlight reflected off the glitters on his green tutu, causing a myriad of colors to shimmer on the ground. The porg seemed enamored with the reflections and stared at them with vacant gaze, which only cemented his opinion about the creature’s intelligence. He walked to the porg then noted the distance before turning around and returning the edge of the green.

Loki smoothed the tutu a final time before he focused on the porg that still sat there stupidly. It’d shifted its attention to stare at someone in the crowd; a slight bit of drool dribbled out of its slightly open mouth. He ran towards it and twisted his foot at the last moment to kick the creature with the side of his foot. Once the thing had been launched into the air, Loki promptly screeched, “ **YEET!** ”

The porg tumbled towards the net, flipping head over feet as it went. Finally, it bounced a few times on the ground before finally coming to a rest in the center of the net, right in the center of the bull’s eye. The attendant at the goal calmly marked the spot as the creature popped upright, looked around, and then waddled off towards the sidelines. On the screen, the score popped up, indicating Loki’s success. Around him, the Klingons made grunts of approval and politely clapped. Smiling, Loki gave a small curtsy in response to the claps around him.

Pleased, Loki stepped off of the punting green and watched the next competitor take his place. He initially hadn’t expected the idea of porg punting to be fun, but he thoroughly enjoyed the game and hoped it’d become a galaxy wide event. Loki rolled his eyes as the next porg got punted into the water thanks to a poorly angled kick. Well, at least he’d walk away the winner of this little event.


End file.
